Woohoo! So I survived a 2 week UK tour with my Carousel bandmates and our touring team! The question is…how did Sarah’s headspace fare?
The back story: I suffer from anxiety, depression and separation anxiety from my partner and band member Tom. At the beginning of the year we did a 4-date UK tour with another band, but I didn’t really know how well I’d deal with a longer time away from home.
I went into the process knowing I had to be properly organised to prevent getting anxious and stressed. The only way I know how to be fully prepared is to step in and take some control of the tour, so essentially I became Carousel’s tour manager. I knew where we were going, what time, where we would sleep and set up press opportunities in between. It was a huge task, however it allowed me to know everything in advance and I was hoping it would ease my anxiety on the road.
I also had a couple of tricks up my sleeve for staying level-headed on tour, which I knew I would find a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Meditation, the ‘Sarah’s Headspace’ bubble, and leaning on my bandmates, who are my best friends. So 8 dates, 8 cities, 2 weeks and sharing a van with 5 guys…
Week One
We travelled from our home in Southend-on-Sea, Essex, up to Cambridge for our first gig of the tour. From there we drove to London, all the way down to Brighton and then back to Essex for our hometown show. During these gigs I felt a little emotional and stressed at first, but I eased into the week and was quite glad to be home for a night or two at the end of the four gigs. I used this down time to reflect on the week and also enjoy a bit of normality again. The one difficult thing was adjusting from the hometown show night to the morning after – one moment it felt like I was being thrust in front of 150 people in a packed venue, sang my heart out and tried my best to be social while my cheeks hurt from smiling so much; the next I was in my own bed at midday searching for car insurance quotes online . The stark contrast between normalcy and this hint of stardom that I was embarking on was hard for me to comprehend.
Week Two
After leaving home early on the Monday morning, we took a long drive up to Manchester, then headed South for shows in Birmingham, Exeter and finally Bristol before reaching home on Friday evening. Despite having the weekend to recover, I felt exhausted on this second week and I knew I would have to take a few more actions in order to stay stress-free and emotionally calm. I found myself zoning out and listening to music in my headphones a lot. I imagined a bubble surrounding me, where I couldn’t hear or see anyone else. Having this imagery of a ‘Sarah’s Headspace’ bubble, as I call it, allowed me to stay partial in times where I normally would feel very heated and opinionated. If ever I felt annoyed or frustrated, I crossed my legs in my seat like an infant in a school assembly and focused on my posture and breathing to clear my mind.
Having my friends on tour with me was one of the main things that made it enjoyable. Not only did us band mates get to play together every night, but we also had my best friend Chris helping us out with door sales and merch; the incredibly laid-back Rob who drove us everywhere and documented our trip along the way; and our manager/producer Pete who was with us for some of the tour dates. If ever something was troubling me, I knew there were 6 guys I could rely on to ask for reassurance and help; sometimes they would recognise it before I even realised it myself.
I tried to eat healthy during the tour too as I am aware that diet can affect mood. As a vegetarian with a low iron count, I sought out lots of greens like spinach, broccoli and kale wherever I could – even if it was in the form of a smoothie! I could tell I had much more energy and a huge mental boost after a few days of eating clean. (Let’s not mention the waffle and ice-cream breakfast in Brighton – that was a one-off!)
Overall, the tour was a success for the band and my mental health alike. And one of the most valuable pieces of advice that I used on the road was: “Make time for yourself.” My band mate Toby put this forward in an interview we did recently and it kind of stuck with me. I’d never thought about it before – why I would purposely have time alone when all my friends are beside me? But over these two weeks I tested the theory and allowed myself a little time, be it 10 minutes or an hour, to think about myself and focus on the reasons I am doing this. So now, I thank Toby and the other guys for making me realise that being in a band and being on tour is what I’ve always wanted to do and I can no longer envisage a life without this being present. Bring on the next one!
WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE WE GOT UP TO ON TOUR? Click here to watch the tour video.
Video created by Rob from Soundcastle.
You can find our producer Pete at Longcroft Recording.
And our friend Chris is incredible at drawing! Find his art here.
We have scheduled in a couple of local pre-Xmas Carousel gigs – the evening show is sold out, but there’s still a few tickets left for the afternoon show! Grab them here.
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Sarah x
Sarah's Headspace 